Stopping to smell the penises

Oh PLEASE! What did your daddy do to you to make you so hateful? You hate men. You hate babies. You make women look like whiny little brats! Women have it great! Life is wonderful! Get over it! Stop and smell the flowers, not the penis you wish you had.

Thank you for your kind note, but I must ask: How do I stop smelling the penis I wish I had? Truly, I’m trying to work this out. I mean, do people smell penises in general? Is this some new thing the kids are doing that I’m not privy to? If so, I imagine it would be much harder to smell if said penises doesn’t exist (outside the confines of my deepest hopes and desires, naturally). Any advice to this end would be much appreciated. P.S. I’m all for your suggestion to stop and smell the flowers, admittedly this is something I need to do more often. Maybe I’ll join a gym or take Italian lessons…